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In fact, I think I get more excited hearing descriptions of what someone might like to do with me than actually doing it. Anticipation is sexy! But when it comes time to start a sext conversationI get totally tongue-tied — or rather, finger-tied.

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How to turn a girl on with conversation

You won't, for instance, want to bring up the topic when you're cranky, or tired, or late for work. As Grant says, sharing what you like will encourage more of the same.

Because that will only make your partner's blood run cold, and put them on edge. Particularly in romantic relationships, the topic tends to feel awkward, uncomfortable, and sometimes even unnecessary. It'll also be a great time to talk about consent. Even if you've been together forever, "you'll need to keep the conversation going," O'Reilly says, "as needs, interests, chaat boundaries vary from day to day.

20 sexy text messages to start a sexy conversation

If you're nervous about initiating a sexy conversation, Caitlin V. Be Enthusiastic About What You Like The next time something sexy happens, and you're all about it, make sure to let your partner know. I think it's so hot when you do that. Saying something simple like, "You know what I've always wanted to do For chag, some people get nervous about sexting because they don't know what to say.

Admit that you can't stop thinking about it, and go from there.

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Sending a steamy message in the middle of the day is way less intimidating, and can help break the ice. Expert: Caitlin V.

In fact, I think I get more excited hearing descriptions of what someone might like to do with me than actually doing it. From there, once you do start talking about things like fantasies, be sure you validate each other. Be sure to read the situation as best as you can to see if they're in the mood and available for it. Asking each other fun, quirky, starf interesting questions.

Keep It Lighthearted You won't want to start this conversation with ti dreaded "we need to talk," Jaime Bronstein, LCSWa psychotherapist and d clinical social worker, tells Bustle. Sensual couple lying in bed together, hugging after sex, talking and smiling, satisfied girlfriend and boyfriend enjoying romantic moment at home, looking in eyes, man holding in arms woman close up Shutterstock 1.

Who knows, you might even want to start trying it right then and there.

Share your fantasies during late-night pillow talks, discuss sex the next morning, keep those sexts going — and you should both begin to start more comfortable. Afterward, gather your thoughts so you can go into the cgat with a few specific questions, concerns, etc. Not to mention, it totally counts as foreplay. In fact, communication is the secret to good sexso start by getting yourself in the moodand then chat a few of these conversation cchat a try.

Use these moments to say, "You sex what? The same goes for pointing out something your partner does that now counts as one of your new favorite turn-ons. how

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Instead, "have fun with the conversation," she says. Justin Lehmillera social psychologist and research fellow at The Kinsey Institute, tells Bustle this will not only help you into the topic, but it will help normalize conversations about sex, and x it easier to talk about bigger wants, turn-ons, or problems areas in the bedroom. Jess O'Reillya resident sexologist at Astroglidetells Bustle. Anticipation is sexy!

Keeping it light will combat awkwardness, Bronstein says, while also contributing to a peaceful conversation, and more open-mindedness. Instead, choose a time when you can both settle into the couch, get comfy, and chat. Try one of these tonight, and your phone will provide its own form of erotica for days to come. Alternately, if you're watching a scene that makes you uncomfortable, "ask them how it makes them starf O'Reilly says, and be honest about why it's turning you off.

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But there will likely be moments throughout the day, like when you kiss in the morning, or when they hug you from behind as you make coffee, that can serve as a stepping stone, too. So, how do you talk to your partner about sex? Start Off By Sexting One big advantage that sexting has over face-to-face interaction is the freedom it gives you to test the waters, share intimate thoughts, and start a deeper conversation about sex — without the pressure of broaching the subject in person.

But when it comes time to start a sext conversationI get totally tongue-tied — or rather, finger-tied.

You might even want to schedule a time to talk, Grant says, so that it feels less sudden. Is there something about ethics or morals?

1. "i’ve been thinking dirty thoughts about you lately. do you want to hear them?"

But the reality is you'll want to figure out a few ways to broach the subject, especially if your goal is to create a stronger connection. Or does it bring up bad memories? Instead, admit that talking about sex has felt a bit off-limits or taboo.

This should go without saying, but you should only send these kinds of messages to someone you have an established relationship with and know would enjoy them. Talk About Sex More Often Once you've eased past the first few potentially awkward conversations, make a point of discussing sex more often, so that it becomes second nature.

7 ways to start a conversation about sex with your partner

Pick A Good Time To Talk Of course, you can always take a deep breath and say, in a straightforward way, that you have a few things on your mind that you'd like to share. Chances are they've felt the same way, Grant says, and will appreciate the fact you're creating a safe space to be vulnerable. Grant, PsyDa d clinical therapist, tells Bustle.

If a character is doing something you'd like to try, pointing it out is a natural way to begin talking about fantasies, new sex positions, or whatever else has been on your mind.